Nutrition Coaching with Nicole - ITP

A BIG Thank You to my friend, Dave Shiley, over at ITP Income Tax Preparation for the recommendation below: 

engagement profile .jpg

"One of the most challenging parts to a healthier lifestyle is making positive changes and then sticking with them weeks and months down the road.  This is where Nutrition Coaching with Nicole has been found to excel. In an effort to help clients get the best results that last for the rest of their lives, Nicole Hagen encourages sustainable habit-based strategies as opposed to the deprivation-based mindset of dieting. With guidance and accountability from an educated and experienced nutrition coach using sustainable, easy-to-begin habit-based coaching, Nicole believes anyone can create healthy, positive change that lasts a lifetime.

As a certified nutrition coach, Nicole helps people change their bodies and their lives with guided nutrition coaching geared specifically to their individual goals, lifestyle, and preferences.  Through her nutrition coaching process clients will learn the best eating, exercise (optional), and lifestyle strategies — unique and personal — for their body. And because she recognizes that we live in a fast-paced world, Nicole offers both in-person and remote nutrition coaching packages. So even those who live at a distance or who can’t get away for a face-to-face consultation can stay consistent and see results, no matter what life brings. 

The majority of her clientele have fat loss goals, whether it’s 10, 50 or 100 pounds. She also does a lot of work with disordered eating and sport-specific clientele. So whether you feel like your body is working against you and just can’t seem to lose weight, or you’re looking for a way to enhance your fitness performance, Nicole is here to help guide the way. 

Nicole utilizes an online nutrition coaching portal with her clients. This service allows for daily accountability, so nutrition and fitness goals remain a priority amidst the everyday life distractions! You can learn more at her website or Facebook/Instagram pages, where she posts daily Nutrition Tips of the Day. Nicole is also on instagram at  If you need any additional information, Nicole is happy to help via email at [email protected]!"

Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 

If you can't say something nice about yourself, PRACTICE.


What was the last nice thing you said to yourself? 

Can't remember? 

Yeah, too often that's the case. 

We hear a lot about self-talk these days. We know that negative self-talk is "bad" and that positive self-talk is "good", but do we really know and understand how that impacts real life goal achievement?  

I would argue that we don't. And here's why, based on what I see with my one-on-one fat loss and disordered eating coaching clients:

1. Client sees something beautiful; a goal worth pursuing

2. Client attempts to reach the goal 

3. Client fails to reach the goal

4. Client decides that the goal probably isn't that beautiful after all and that the pursuit isn't worth his/her time

5. Client gives up and looks for the next beautiful thing

Every time you make an excuse, beat yourself up for failing or justify why you can't do something, you begin to believe those scripts a little more each time. Take for example the forty-something  female client who desperately seeks acceptance and body confidence but repeatedly fails to find it amidst the decades of negative scripting ingrained by her over-dieted mother who insisted on deprivation as a form of love and affection. What we hear most often is what we begin to believe.

So I want to ask, what story are you telling yourself? Or maybe, what script has been fed to you? And is that story/script holding you back from what you truly want?   

It's easy to want something and to run after it.

It's easy to convince yourself that you didn't want that thing after all because the road to get there is hard or uncomfortable. 

It's hard to keep trying despite skinned knees and a bruised ego.

It's hard to keep running after what you want - choosing deliberately to celebrate the wins and learn from the failures.  

Because guys, you're going to fail. And guys, there will be goals you don't reach the first, second, or even third time you try. But gosh darn it guys, that doesn't mean it's not a goal worth pursuing. 

What if, instead of feeding yourself negative self talk and scripts laden with excuses and justifications you praised what went well, re-evaluated what didn't and encouraged yourself (i.e. positive self-talk) to try again? What if that voice inside your head was supportive of your efforts? Inspired by your attempts? And encouraged your steadfast consistency? 

Might you then have the strength - the power - and the resiliency to reach that big, bold beautiful goal? I say 100% yes. Because you and I, we're motivated by praise, not punishment. And that little voice inside each and every one of our heads is no exception to the rule. 

So set big beautiful goals. Say nice things to yourself. If it's hard, practice. And above all, keep trying. 


Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 

I'm Not For Everyone.


It took me a long time - way too long - to come to this realization, but, now it's quite clear. 

I am not for everyone. 

As a first born I crave affirmation, yearning for recognition.

As a female I was taught that good things come to those who look the part, play the part and are envied by those around her because of it. 

As a Christian I was taught that I need to do what is right - not necessarily according to my own personal standards, but according to the standards written for me. 

As the only surviving sibling to a family ruined by drug abuse I was taught the power of guilt, shame and grief. 

Compile these, and the many other pieces that when put together assemble the person that I am, and you get someone who looks for validation in alllllll the places, performing like a symbol-clad monkey according to the expectations and beliefs of those around me. 

I wanted to be liked, adored, loved even by everyone around me and I couldn't begin to fathom the idea of authenticity. Sure, it sounded nice but I couldn't even understand what that meant, let alone how I might live it out in my life. 

The day I discovered that authenticity meant letting go of the person I thought I should be and embracing the person I am felt so unbelievably freeing. And even more - to know that authenticity isn't something that I had or didn't have (there I go again, looking for a pat on the back because of my qualifications), but rather something that I choose to practice each day until it becomes my norm. The power that lies within the fact that it's my choice to show up vulnerably - as I am - bumps bruises and all - each and every day knowing that I have absolutely zero control over how the world receives me, it's magic. 

Yes, some people will turn their noses up at your authenticity. 

But you know what? The people who matter will love you regardless. 

And guess what? You can't control their feelings or opinions no matter how hard you try. But you can shake those shackles off and embrace this truth: You are not for everyone. And that's okay. 

Be for you. Learn who you are and show up. Own what you stand for, what you don't and what you're all about (or not about). Be for you. Own your integrity.

How can you arrive at authenticity? I don't know exactly. I think the road looks different for all of us. To be completely honest, for me, watching my coaching clients transform through this authenticity process has helped me to do the same. To see them shout proudly, "this is who I am and this is what I need", committed to living out their best life each and every stinking day - choosing to say no to the one-size-fits-all model -  is the most beautiful and empowering thing I've ever witnessed. 

So, if letting go of the person you think you should be and embracing the person you are feels as freeing to you as it did to me, go for it. And share your story! I'd love to hear from you.

What do you stand for?  


Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 

I was that girl who felt less than good enough because a number said so.

Let me tell you about a thing that happened.  

It's no secret that I am a recovering (it's a life-long journey) disordered eater. At my lowest I weighed about as much as a paper weight and things weren't good. I obsessively tracked my calories, being sure to never eat more than 900 a day and I obsessively burned calories, being sure to always run at least 5 miles a day. If you do the math you can quickly see why I wasted away to almost nothing in the span of just a few years. My hair started falling out, I stopped menstruating, friends started expressing concern, and little did I know, my bones were becoming more and more like swiss cheese every day.

IMG_0859 (1).jpg

For a period of about 3 years my life WAS the pursuit of skinny. There are a lot of reasons for this, but this isn't the post where I'm going to get all mental health on you (although, that's important, so if you're struggling, talk to someone). The point is I was NEVER satisfied. 

Despite my constant drive to be smaller - take up less space - weigh less - I was NEVER good enough. Whether I was in a size 6...4...2...0 or 00, I hated my body.

Flash forward several years and I've found (or more accurately, created) health. My mental health is in-check, my physical health is in-check and my self worth is stronger today than it ever has been. All good, right? Ehhhh, not exactly. When I began the  l o n g  journey of recovery the goal was simply to gain weight. So by exercising a little less and incorporating some of the foods I had labeled as "off limits" I was easily able to appear "healthier" to those around me - and no one hesitated in telling me so (at the time, I felt as though this was the worst compliment a person could possibly give). I experimented with maintaining a healthy weight, incorporating more strength training and less cardio, focusing on my headspace and balancing my new relationship with food and fitness. But this is tough stuff! Anyone who's ever struggled with disordered eating or addiction of any kind will tell you - recovery is HARD. When it comes to disordered eating you can't simply abstain from your substance of choice - in fact doing so is often the very opposite of what needs to happen. You still need to eat, but now have to learn how to eat enough, how to eat well, how to eat mindfully and how to listen to your body's hunger cues which you've worked so hard to turn off. 

This road to recovery left me much healthier, happier and also 50 pounds heavier. While still at a healthy weight, I felt uncomfortable with my body and ready to progress toward a slightly leaner version of myself with my new, healthy food and fitness parameters in mind. Over the course of the last four year (yes, you read that correctly, YEARS, not days, weeks or months) I worked toward my goal. 


I used sustainable habits that allowed me to look, feel and perform how I wanted. I was careful to avoid anything restrictive or depriving and I took breaks to maintain my weight and enjoy my new, healthy, normal. 

The other day I weighed in at my self-proclaimed GOAL WEIGHT - a weight that I hadn't been to since before my eating disorder that felt healthy to me - and you know what happened? I flipped the eff out. Want to know why? Because just a month before I had weighed in at 2 pounds lighter. And now I was UP TWO POUNDS!? How could this be? What did I do wrong? How did I let this happen? ... Like I said, that road to recovery is a full time job. 

I got caught up in the scale. For a split second, I was that girl who felt less than good enough because a number said so. Thankfully I have a support system around me to keep me in check. Because even though I've been in recovery for years, disordered eating brain still creeps up and I have to be sure to check my perception, expectations and reality from time to time to make sure I'm prioritising what truly matters and what is healthy for me and my body. 

Because the numbers don't matter. YOU matter. Find something that allows you to feel good mentally, good physically and good enough. Because you are. 

Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 

Living with anxiety is hard.

"You have anxiety. You vibrate with it." 

When I first heard those words it felt like coming home. That might sound odd considering that anxiety isn't typically a warm, comforting place to rest, but it's been my norm for as long as I can remember, waxing and waning at various points in my life, but always there. 

I originally started therapy to cope with the grief of my brothers death, however, once we started talking it quickly became apparent that many of my tendencies - disordered eating, perfectionism, desire for absolute control and of course, grief, were/are firmly rooted in anxiety. 

The clinical definition of anxiety is this, "a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome." To me, it's overthinking, overanalysing and over-expecting when it comes to just about everything. Being hyperaware of all possible variables and fielding every infinitesimal thought or feeling as it fills my brain. In a word, it's exhausting. Constantly, I find myself obsessing over the smallest of possibilities, wanting to control all extraneous factors. I play out every possible scenario, only to end up disappointed when it doesn't go exactly according to plan (my plan, mind you, not anybody else's). I've even found myself getting anxious about my anxiety. If you've ever felt your heart begin to race and your face begin to flush only to take your pulse and proceed to freak out even more as your heart thumps more intently against your ribcage, you and I would get along. 

But you see, while all of this is going on, you (the onlooker) have no idea. To you I appear cool, calm and collected, perhaps even detached or disinterested. Because anxiety is a battle within. Between me and my thoughts. 

And I'm not alone. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States, almost 20% of the population! And while anxiety disorders are highly treatable, only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment.

Living with anxiety is hard. It doesn't just go away. You can't "just stop thinking about it" (saying this is a sure fire way to aggravate someone struggling with anxiety). In certain situations medication is helpful. Other strategies for coping with anxiety include therapy, being aware of your triggers (for me, having a packed schedule with zero "me" time is a major trigger), taking time to care for both brain and body (because that "flight or fight" response affects the whole system) and of course, connecting with others. 

KNOW THIS: Anxiety is not something that needs to be cured or fixed, but know that it can be managed. If you're like me and struggle with anxiety, reach out, connect and seek help. If you're someone who can't quite relate, be patient with those of us who can, please don't take offense if we're needing to veer from the status quo, be patient and most of all, show that you care. 


"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light." - Brene Brown

Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well.  

Breakup with the Scale.

There was a time, not that long ago, when I would wake up, pee, strip down to my skivvies, step on the scale and allow the number staring back at me to control my entire day and demeanor. 

If the scale read what I wanted it to, which, let's face it, happened almost never because my expectations were ridiculously unrealistic, I'd continue to compulsively weigh in multiple times a day to ensure that it was still there (or going down) and not headed in the opposite direction. 

If the scale didn't read what I wanted it to, I'd punish myself with exercise and obsessive food rules that eliminated more than they allowed for and I'd repeatedly weigh in after each event. Step on the scale. Go for a run. Step on the scale. Eat a meal. Step on the scale...yeah, not a lot of self respect. 

For years I viewed that number as something that dictated my self worth. I spent countless days, months and years allowing how I looked at myself in the mirror, the size on my jeans and the number on the scale to dictate who I was and what I was or was not worthy of. There are a lot of reasons for my behavior, but the bottom line is, I allowed the calories I consumed and burned and unrealistic societal standards to dictate how I regarded myself as a human being and as a woman. 

This is not how I want to live my life. Do you? 

Changing the way you regard yourself. Learning to accept and love yourself and your body in today's climate. Those are acts of pure defiance. And I'm here to tell you to be defiant. It takes time. It takes grace. It takes resilience. It takes the ability to fail over and over again, continuing to pick yourself back up and charge forward. 

But I'm here to tell you that it's a practice you can't afford not to commit to. Despite what the world is telling you, or what your scale is trying to convince you of, it's time. It's time to breakup with the scale, rendering it powerless against you. And it's time to begin redefining your self worth. 

Earlier this week, I stepped on the scale. I do this from time to time as I continue to reshape my perception of weight as a number that can be used, or not used, as needed. What I experienced was both reinforcing and discouraging. The scale reflected my lowest (healthy) weight yet, paired with my lowest (healthy) body fat percentage yet. I looked at the numbers and my thought process wants something like this... 


"I wonder how much lower I could go...",

"Eh, this is just a number. It will change tomorrow and the day after that. Keep moving forward." 

So, my breakup with the scale? It's an ongoing process. But it is, hands down, one of the best decisions I ever made for me. Because I am so worthy of love and acceptance. I am worthy of living my best life regardless of what the scale says. 

Ready to begin your breakup with the scale? In 2018, I'm opening up a select number of 12-week coaching spots for women who are looking to break up with the scale, redefine their self worth and work towards healing their body image while reaching their health & fitness goals and feeling good about the way their body looks. If that sounds like the road you want to take this New Year, fill out this application to be put on the waitlist:

I'd gladly have you join me on this journey toward self discovery and unhindered acceptance. 

 Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 

Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 



I am all about tradition. This time of year, I love being smacked across the face by twinkling lights, the smell of that douglas fir, carols on the radio and the giving of magical gifts. From the time the air starts feeling like Christmas, I'm pretty grossly full of holiday cheer. 

But here's the deal, holidays pretty much suck now. 

I mean, they aren't a total drag, but once upon a time I had the family life people dreamed of. Two loving parents, a kid brother, a dog, a unifying faith to carry us through sounds sickening, but I loved my life. It felt happy and all was right with the world. 

Flash forward to current day and I'm an only child with a dysfunctional family (sure, everyone's a little dysfunctional) trying to stuff the grief that has become the air we breathe deep down inside. I hate to sound like the Grinch, but it's not Christmas cheer we're breathing anymore. 

Not a day that goes by is easy, but some sure are harder than others. The holidays, they're always hard. There's this big emphasis on family and togetherness and those of us without a family, or with missing pieces in our family get lost in the cracks.

Good tidings are being handed out like Christmas cookies, but here I am watching all the holly jolly from the outside of this snow speckled globe. Some of that is because I'm still learning how to build my new narrative, learning how to celebrate holidays on my own terms with these new missing pieces. Some of it is because our culture doesn't know how to appropriately acknowledge grief and suffering, especially during what is supposed to be the "best time of year". 

So if you're having a hard time this holiday season and you just can't seem to get on board with all the "deck the halls" business, there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, there's nothing wrong with not having a holiday at all. And there's nothing wrong with having a holiday that doesn't feel like holiday or act like a holiday. Despite the tidal wave that is Christmas in our culture, you do not have to be merry if you don't feel merry. 

Just in case you needed to hear it from someone else who's a little less-than-merry. 


Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 

Breaking up...with my relationship with food.


"No, this isn't like any of the other diets. I'm changing my relationship with food." 

I heard these words from a client just the other week. She and her husband were taking a look at their budget (as we often do) and trying to find ways to trim around the edges. Having previously been a self-proclaimed chronic dieter her husband looked at her and said, "what about your Nutrition thing? Could you drop it?" 

When she said "NO!" her husband looked at her with questioning brows but she proceeded to explain to him that this wasn't just another thing. This wasn't going to be a temporary fix like the diets that had come before, but rather a long-term solution and an investment in her relationship with food.

I almost cried. And I would have been totally okay with it. 

Because, guys. Here is a kind, sweet, compassionate woman who, for years, has been battling with emotional eating and an unhealthy relationship with food - at times uncomfortable in her own skin, not proud of the things she had eaten and the accompanying shame she carried. But this kind, sweet and compassionate woman is now seeing the bigger picture. She is saying no to the obsession with shrinking and feeling like a stranger in her own body. And she is saying yes to being a powerful, radiant, autonomous human being who is the boss of her own body!

How beautiful is that? Because, yes, it is an investment. And just like any relationship, it takes time and nurturing. But it is always - ALWAYS - an investment worth making when you are left with the power to define what your relationship with food will look like and how it will empower you to be a stronger, sexier, more satiated woman. 

How are you investing in your relationship today?


Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 

"I'm stressed out of my mind"

This is the No. 1 thing I hear from my clients as a nutrition coach. You might think it'd be something about diet or exercise, and while I hear about those too, nothing rings louder than the "I'm stressed out of my mind" plea from the men and women I work with. 

Whether it's the mom with four kids trying to remember to eat because she can't keep track of much else outside of the extracurricular activity schedule, or the overworked husband who can't seem to turn his brain off even after his 12+ hour days, or the twenty-something female struggling with her weight because school, friends, moms bad relationship with body image and her own struggles with disordered eating seem to take more energy than she has to give...the stories go on. But the story I want to talk about today is yours. 

Are you stressed? 

Let me rephrase. Are you struggling to lose weight even though you're trying to make strides in the kitchen or the gym? Do you find yourself eating emotionally whenever a particular event or interaction occurs, despite your best efforts? How about your self-care, does it exist? Do you battle with losing (and finding) the same 10 pounds over and over again? 

If you answered yes to any (or all) of these questions, it's safe to say you're overstressed. But, I probably could've guessed that. Because we're all stressed, overworked and overly busy, right? I mean, it's even a cliche to say we're busy because everyone's busy. I don't know what the heck that's all about. 

Let's talk about why your stress is keeping you from your weight loss goals. 

When stress is chronically high your body pumps cortisol and adrenaline like a well-oiled machine. When this happens, your "non-critical" functions like digestion, metabolism, immune function and reproduction are inhibited. The result of all of this chronic stress is hormonal havoc, reproductive dysfunction, muscle loss, fat gain and chronic fatigue. GAHHH! But that's the opposite of what I want, right!? 

Right. Less stress = more weight loss. But don't give up just yet. Because research shows us that even if you are currently under a lot of stress, there's still hope. People who are able to reduce stress while losing weight have better weight loss. In the big picture of weight loss we often talk about calories burned and calories eaten but we're missing one crucial component. It appears as though reducing stress may be just as important as reducing calories.

Diet + Exercise + Stress management and Self care = Fat loss

Okay. So, you're stressed. And reading this is making you more stressed because now you're stressed about your stress. Breathe deep my friends. Help is on the way. 


If good health and weight loss is the goal, aim to get 6-8 hours of sleep (more if you’re working out  regularly) and make relaxation techniques a part of your day.

No, this is not the part where I tell you that you need to buy a yoga mat or start taking Tai-Chi, because there's even better news ahead - the activity you choose doesn’t matter. Say whaaaa?? It's true. The only thing that matters is the state you achieve by doing the activity.  For example, one person might be able to achieve a relaxed, parasympathetic state while practicing yoga. Me on the other hand, I use that 90 minutes to think about everything I need to do, everything I haven't done and...did I remember to turn the Crock-Pot on this morning!? Clearly, yoga isn't my activity. But again, it’s all about the state, not the activity.

Think about exploring activities that can help you get 30 minutes of quiet, restful, worry-free parasympathetic activity each day. Performing these activities regularly is the best way to get control of your stress. But just like with anything, it's not simply going to happen. You won't magically find the time, but rather, you'll need to invest the time to reap the rewards. 

Rest and recovery are as important as what you’re doing in the gym and what you’re doing in the kitchen. Because they aren't as segmented as we like to think. If you're stressed and unrested, do you feel like going to the gym? And if you do happen to drag yourself to the gym are you going to get a lot out of that workout? Likewise, if you're overworked and stretched thin are you going to have the mental or physical capacity to make the healthy choice over the teasing temptation? Obviously, the answer to all of these is no. 

So do yourself a favor and start taking care of your whole self. You know, your brain AND your body. Then, and only then, will you find the results you're looking for. 

As always, if you need some help with this, I have recently opened up three coaching spots. This time of year can be e x t r a stressful so don't let self care fall by the wayside. Manage your stress and work toward that sexy body with the help of a coach who can see you through to your goals! 


Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. first thought was probably just another crazy fad diet!

Let me tell you about my friend, Luke. 

When you look up consistency in the dictionary, you'll find Luke's picture there. Luke is someone who has spent much of his life dedicated to his health - both in and out of the gym. This time last year, Luke was willing to take his health and fitness goals one step further. Luke knew he wasn't looking for a quick fix, but was willing to start slow and focus diligently on changing his everyday behaviors to reshape his body and his life is a sustainable, life-giving way. 

Over the past year Luke has lost 20 pounds and over 8 inches, but Luke's story is less about what he lost and more about what he gained. But don't take my word for it, take his. 

" first thought was probably just another crazy fad diet!  Within a few weeks of lessons, I recognized advice that would be useful the rest of my life.  So glad I embraced and followed each lesson wholeheartedly.  After doing what I thought was pretty good on my own with nutrition and fitness, PN Coaching helped me lose 20 more pounds and 8.75 inches of total girth.  Outside results, such as muscles and definition never seen before, are nice.  More important are the inside results. Feeling years younger makes me believe PN Coaching improved my body’s functions contributing to better health. Who knows? I may have extended my life by years because of one decision to get serious about my appearance and health.  PN Coaching is about more than what to eat, when to eat it, and why.  For me, it was the start of a journey I intend to enjoy the rest of my life."

Screen Shot 2017-08-23 at 3.26.44 PM.png
Screen Shot 2017-08-23 at 3.26.58 PM.png

Are you ready to try something useful for the rest of your life? Ready to say no to diets that last only days? Feel like your body is working against you? Learn how to stop dieting and start feeling better immediately. 

This is your opportunity to get in the best shape of your life, and stay that way for good! 

Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 

Building A Base


By, guest blogger: Patrick Hagen, Strength Coach

Preface: There will be several references to hiking and climbing as you read along here. Don’t let me fool you into think I’m an avid climber; but the illustration is appropriate.


As I scroll through fitness accounts on Facebook and Instagram I see an overwhelming number of videos and photos featuring amazing lifts, skillfully sculpted individuals and inhuman feats of strength. While there’s nothing wrong with this, so to speak, we fail to factor in everything that’s come before. We’re inspired or perhaps even jealous of the all-out max effort lift or the “ripped” physique without acknowledging the days-weeks-months and years that have led that person to that point. In most of these cases, someone has dedicated a lot of time to food prepping in the kitchen or working diligently on form in the gym (most likely both) in order to achieve these amazing results. I want you to think of these results as mountain peaks. In the split second we see these images, we get hung up on getting to the peak of the mountain and we forget all the terrain that needs to be crossed at the base of the mountain in order to support the steep climb up to the peak. It’s an amazing view from up there, but it’s also a long, hard climb up to that view. That’s what I’m here to talk about - building your base!

Let’s take a look at your mountain for second. Let’s pretend your mountain is an equilateral triangle. For those of you who did not like geometry, an equilateral triangle is a triangle where all sides are the same size and all angles are the same. So if your mountain is an equilateral triangle, the peak of your mountain will be determined by how big the base is.

Let’s say your goal is to lose weight, and your overall weight loss goal is 50lbs. The peak of your mountain is that new you, 50lbs leaner and lighter! If you’re like most of us, as soon as you set this goal all you do is worry about the peak of the mountain. How do I get there? Why isn’t it happening faster? I want it so badly! You’re so desperate to get to the top that you begin climbing at an unsustainable speed. You cut out a whole food group because someone on social media told you to, or you count every calorie that enters your body because it worked for your friend... Before you know it, you reach a plateau. Out of breath, tired and feeling defeated. Let’s stop here for a second though. Is this really a plateau? Or did you choose the mountain with the small base (not a lot of good habits to support you) in an effort to get to your peak faster? You chose the quick fix, but without a firm foundation there’s no way you can make it to the top.

Let’s rewind this scenario and choose the mountain with the bigger base. Before you think about climbing up, you take your time covering the terrain at the base. You learn the appropriate skills and practice the habits that you know will push you to the peak. Instead of resorting to extremes you focus on your hunger cues and what it means to eat to 80% full. You learn to slow your eating down and listen to your body. You focus on hydration and learn what amounts of carbs, proteins and fats work for YOU. This is your base. You now begin to climb, focusing on sleep and stress and how those affect your nutrition and vice-versa. You start to look at the quality of your food, not just quantity. But you don’t look at everything at once. Instead, you take one step at a time, working your way closer and closer to the top.

You are starting to realize this mountain might take longer to trek, and you might not always have a great view but when you do get to that view, it’s everything you were expecting and more. Picking the mountain with the bigger base pays off every time.

And yes, you’ll still hit plateaus and get out of breath, but you’ll have an arsenal of skills and healthy habits as your foundation. Even if you misstep, you wont’ slide all the way back down. There may be periods when you have to climb down a portion of the mountain (revisiting old habits) but you’re always moving, always making progress toward sustainable weight loss.

Any journey in the fitness world, whether lifting or nutrition will contain both peaks and valleys. And once you reach your ultimate goal you might find that there are new mountains to climb with even greater peaks. Or hey, maybe you decide to stay at your current peak and just enjoy the view for a while because it’s so damn great and you hiked your ass off to get there. Either way, appreciate a solid base. Don’t get so caught up with the promised peak that you miss out on the journey. Learn along the way. Take time to listen to your body and adjust based on your feedback. Put the work in at the beginning, create a solid base and the payoff will be grand. Don’t spend your whole life climbing only to keep sliding back down. 


PS. If you need help building a base when it comes to strength training, fat loss, injury rehabilitation or athleticism, this guy is who you want to see! Message me if you'd like to get on his client list. And, if you need help building that base when it comes to nutrition, you know how to reach me. 

Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 

Take this QUIZ to find your holiday coping style!

Just kidding. There is no quiz. That's just what you're supposed to say to get someone to click on your link, right? Marketing ploys aside, read on and let me know if you can relate to any of these holiday coping styles. 

It's coming. The season of endless social functions, cocktail gatherings and incessant opportunities to justify your Santa-sized cookie consumption. It always happens, around this same time of year in fact, and yet most of us are completely unable to float through the festivities without gaining the weight of a Thanksgiving turkey (give or take a few pounds). 

You'd think we'd be used to it by now. You'd think we'd have developed skills and habits that allow us to both enjoy and sometimes indulge while still feeling great about ourselves, our bodies and where we're at in perspective of our health and fitness goals. But, no. Each year comes and goes and the New Years resolutions stay the same: "Lose 10 pounds", "Go to the gym", "Eat fewer sweets". I know the drill. 

But I'm here to tell you that you don't have to stay on that hamster wheel. Break free from the coping style that's no longer serving you and try something new - something that works! But before we get into that, let me know which coping style sounds the most like you: 

1. The Resolution Roadie: You love looking to Monday to start something new. There's a thrill to starting with a clean slate, although too bad it never sticks. The holidays are meant to be fun, festive and you're not about to say no to Christmas cake and cocktails. January is right around the corner, you'll start fresh then. It's a New Year! And in the meantime, you'll just wear that cute chunky sweater with those stretchy pants to hide the holiday bloat. 

2. The Justification Junky: It's all about calories, right? So if I'm going to my company Christmas party tonight, I'll just skip lunch...or maybe I'll just eat celery all day so I can afford to eat whatever I want tonight. It's all about balance right? Less good stuff leaves room for more bad stuff. It's the weekend/Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years after all. Maybe I'll just have one more drink - one more bite - and then go for a long run tomorrow to burn it all off. 

3. The Sentimental Sap: Cue the nostalgia. The holidays are full of so many special moments and you just can't wait to relive them all. I mean it just wouldn't be Thanksgiving without the turkey, stuffing mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie! And of course, we just HAVE to spend an entire day baking cookies (it's tradition!), keeping dozens in the house pretending we're only going to eat a few. The holidays only come around once a year, and my mother in law would just kill me if I didn't eat her sweet potato casserole (made with more marshmallows than actual potatoes). 

4. The Good-Intentioned Goon: Okay. This year is going to be different. I can't afford to gain weight like I did last year. I can swap those sugar-filled beverages out for seltzer and try to make healthier cookies for the kids...only before you know it, the calendar is full, your healthy swaps are less satisfying and you've resorted to eating the leftover pumpkin pie straight out of the fridge. Better luck next year!

It's no wonder January is most popular time for gym memberships and commercial diets. None of these coping styles leave you where you want to be come January 1st. Does it sound familiar? 

If it does, you're not alone. Many of us survive the holidays by clinging to one (or several) of these coping styles. But what if this year you did more than simply survive? What if you THRIVED? What if you learned healthy habits that applied whether you were eating in or dining out? What if you had a nutritional skill set that allowed you to enjoy holiday treats guilt-free and still make progress toward your goals? 

Sounds pretty perfect, huh? 

If you're ready to try something new this year and feel as though having accountability throughout the holiday season could help you stay on track with your goals, let me know. I'm starting a three month non-New Years Resolution Challenge that kicks off October 15th. This challenge will walk you through the craziest time of the year guilt-free. Show up this holiday season - authentically, intentionally and fully empowered to live the inspired, purposeful life that you crave. Because you can be free in your body, comfortable in your skin and still be in fa-la-la-la love with the holidays. 

Interested? Register using this link: 

Or drop me a message to start your non-New Years Resolution Challenge!! 


Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 

"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear" - C.S. Lewis

Grief. What comes to mind when you think of that word? Losing a parent? Saying goodby to someone too soon? The loss of a loved one? That's what quickly comes to my mind. Grief, to me, has always been the emotional suffering I experience because someone has been taken away. 

But did you know that grief can also occur after the loss of something? Even subtle losses in life can trigger a grief response. In fact, any loss - that's personal to you in some way - can trigger emotional suffering and pain. 

I never really gave this much thought up until a week ago. It all started with a therapy session (oh boy, here we go). I started seeing a grief counsellor after my brother Kevin died. It's been over two years now and I still go to therapy. Because, yes, I'm still learning to cope with the loss of my brother but also because there are other areas of my life in which I experience trauma and/or loss and need the guidance of a mental health professional to, in essence, sort my shit out. 

We talk about all sorts of things like how sadness doesn't have to be a bad thing and how joy isn't something I need to constantly express to those around me, or how maybe I should get better at expressing anger once in awhile instead of suppressing my emotions...all that typical therapy stuff. But we also talk about my job, Patrick's job, finances, what our life goals are, how Patrick and I can effectively communicate with each other given our different attachment styles, my disordered eating brain and how that impacts my body and my brain today, even after six years of being in recovery.

It's because we talk about these things that I have a better understanding of just how closely my identity is connected to my ability to perform. Academically, occupationally, but also recreationally with tasks like staying fit and healthy, being active and eating well. For many reasons, this isn't ideal. Sure, it's okay to prioritise these things and value them, but who I am shouldn't be all about what I do or don't do. I learned this lesson back in 2012 with a fractured hip but apparently I didn't learn it well enough because here I am again in 2017 relearning the same lesson only this time with a fractured spine. 

When asked how I was doing in regard to my injury my response was, "I think I'm under functioning as a result of my depression" (clearly someone is a psych undergrad). Stephanie, my therapist, smiled and said, "Nicole, I know you well enough to know that you don't ever under function. Why do you think that?" I explained that I've been suffering with this debilitating back pain for over a year now and there doesn't seem to be any concrete guidance as to what I can do in order to relieve it and get back to my normal life. So instead of being proactive I feel like I've just given up and given in to being depressed about it. "I'm tired of talking about it. I'm tired of waking up in pain and going to bed in pain. I'm tired of doing half workouts. I'm tired of not being able to do all the things I want to do, so, I think I've just resigned to being depressed and dealing with chronic back pain for the rest of my life..."

You know what she said? "It sounds like you're grieving". Ha! As if. How can she say that? How can a back fracture cause grief similar to that of a lost loved one? That's ridiculous...isn't it? She went on to explain that just like after losing Kevin I had to grieve the loss of him but also the loss of my identity as a sister, the loss of a family of four, the loss of not only who he was but also who I was with him. I'm still learning all of that, only today, I am also learning to grieve the loss of the life I want to live/should be living/could be living. Instead of losing a someone I have lost a something. Both can push us into a grief response. 

Whether it's an injury or a miscarriage. Losing a job or losing a pet. The loss of a cherished dream or the loss of a relationship. Loss of health or loss of safety. Any loss can cause grief. The more significant the loss, the more intense your grief may be, but whatever your loss, it’s personal to you, so don’t feel ashamed about how you feel, or believe that it’s somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things. 

So, while the purpose of this blog post is ambiguous I want to invite you to join me in taking a look at your life and identifying areas of loss that might need healing. Be gentle with yourself as the stress of a loss can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Look after your physical and emotional needs, and remember: 

- Trying to avoid feelings of sadness and loss only prolongs the grieving process. Unresolved grief can also lead to complications such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and health problems.

- Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way. Write about your loss in a journal or get involved with a cause or organization that was important to your loved one.

- Look after your physical health. When you feel healthy physically, you’ll be better able to cope emotionally. Combat stress and fatigue by getting enough sleep, eating right, and exercising (but for those of you who are like me, remember not to over train or under eat). 

- There's comfort in routine and getting back to the activities that bring you joy and connect you closer to others can help you come to terms with your loss and aid the grieving process.

- Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, and don’t tell yourself how to feel either. Your grief is your own, and no one else can tell you when it’s time to “move on” or “get over it.” Let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment.



Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 

When was the last time you made the list?

As I reflect on our 1st Anniversary (eek!) I've been reminiscing on a lot of beautiful memories, but among them is a piece of advice I hope never to forget. 

Your marriage doesn't have to make sense to anyone but you. 

As someone who tends to care a little too much about what others think, anxiously worrying about how I might appear to those around me (regardless of whether or not those perceptions may be true), I found these words to be extremely refreshing. Not just in the sense of marriage, but life as a whole. Why should I be consumed by whether or not my marriage - my life - whether I make sense to anyone else? 

Why do I care? Why should someone else's opinion of me dictate what I do or don't do? Why should I live up to someone else's standards if they aren't also my own? What about what's best for me? Best for my body? Best for my life? 

^^^ Clearly, this is something I'm still working on.

But the point is, what if you (and I) applied this piece of advice to all other areas of our lives? Like our diet, for example. What if we ate, moved and made lifestyle decisions in a way that made sense to us, yielding everyone else's thoughts and opinions as a suggestion box that never really gets looked at? 

Some of you reading this are thinking, "Oh, I could never do that", "But what if people think..." and others are shouting, "Hell, yes!!" Do you know why? Self-worth. 

We like to talk about it, but I'd argue that very few of us actually know what self-worth is or spend much time (if any) contributing to it. Sure, you know that without it your mental and emotional well-being will suffer, but do you know that YOU are the only one who defines your self worth? NO ONE else. Self-worth comes from within. It is, by definition, the value you place on yourself. YOU (and me), we are in control of how outside factors influence our inner sense of value. Outside factors like the actions, judgments, reactions, demands and expectations of others. 

Up until not too long ago I allowed these external sources to completely dictate my self worth. You're happy with me? Okay, I'm happy with me too. You're disappointed? Oh gosh, why am I failing? I need to try harder, do more, be better. I spent waaaaaayyy too many years trying to build my self-worth by meeting and exceeding every anticipated expectation and let me tell you, it sure is a shitty way to live. Because you never win. When your primary source of self-worth is everything around you there's a lot of room for disappointment, confusion and shame. 

Why, when you know yourself better than anyone else, do you give everyone else the power and control to dictate how much you're worth, who you should be and what you should do? What about your own strengths? Your individual potential? Are you blinded to those? Can you see your worthiness despite how you may be failing to live up to the external expectations around you? Many of us can't. Because we're not on the list. This list that somehow dictates what our priorities are and where our energy needs to be spent. This list that determines who is important and who gets loved, treasured and taken care of first. This list that teaches everyone around you that you come second, or dare I say, last. 

When was the last time you made a decision for YOU with YOUR best interest at heart? Sister, let me tell you, if you're not on the list we've got a major problem. 

A large majority of my clients (they're amazing people, let me tell you) struggle with making themselves a priority. They take care of so many other people, making decisions for everyone but themselves and guess what - they struggle with weight loss, disordered eating and body image, among other every day stressors. Why? Because they've forgotten that they too are amazing creatures who are worthy of love, care and belongingness. Sound familiar? 

You are allowed to be a priority. You deserve to make decisions that make sense for you. There will always be someone who can't see your worth, don't let it be you. 

Make the list. 


Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 

You're breaking my heart.

Did you know that according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human services 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting? Ninety-one percent. That means that women who dislike their bodies, engage in self-defeating, negative self talk and who are victim to the societal pressures of perfection are the MAJORITY. 

I think it's safe to say that being unhappy with who we are - what we look like - and how we feel is the perpetual struggle for the modern woman. Ladies, pardon my French, but this is bullshit. 

Would you tell your 10 year old daughter/niece/sister that her worthiness was dependent upon her body fat distribution? Her stretch marks? Her cellulite? Or the number of "likes" she gets on an Instagram post? Of course not! And yet, 81% of 10 year old girls are afraid of being fat. So, be it intentional or not, that's exactly what we're telling ourselves and the 10 year old young ladies in our lives.  

Before I dive into coaching with a client I like to ask them a few soul-searching questions so we can establish goals and resistance to change together. 

These questions look something like, "what do you want to achieve by going through coaching?", "why haven't you achieved this yet? what's standing in your way?" and "what might happen if you achieve this thing?" 

Recently, I enrolled 50 young ladies (aged 21-60) in my coaching program for a free 4-week Body Comp Challenge. The responses came flooding in and here's (a paraphrased version of) what some of them had to say in response to these questions: 

...because I hate my body. 

...I want to be able to get dressed and go out without feeling depressed. 

...I feel like hiding every time I'm out in public because I look disgusting. 

...I want to be confident with my intimate relationship. 

...because I want to believe my husband when he tells me I look beautiful.

...I don't want to run away from social situations because I hate the way I look. 

...because I want to like myself. 

Is your heart breaking? Because mine certainly did. After reading response after response, most of them fragrant with a similar tone of disgust and defeat, I was broken. Broken because I know how these ladies feel. We all see the same images on social media. We all hear the same critiques - whether of ourselves or of others - claiming to be too fat or too round or too this or that. It’s never been easy for women to deal with the ever-mutating standards of female beauty, but now more than ever (thanks to the incessant bombarding of air brushed perfection that crosses our social media sites each and every day) women constantly doubt and define themselves according to how they look - as if that dictates who we are as human beings, as women. 

What if we refused to let others dictate how we live our lives and what our bodies should or shouldn't look like? 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and are trying some sort of diet or weight loss system. That means, some of those women have perfectly healthy, beautiful bodies - something to be proud of - and yet, are still discontent and resorting to extremes in an effort to shrink and change their physical form. Where does it end? Do we ever arrive at a place where we feel happy, worthy and content in our skin? At what point do we stop and say, "I am looking pretty damn good and I’m OK with it"?

If we don't learn how to love ourselves despite not emulating societies standards of perfection (or whatever other unattainable standards we've built up in our heads), I don't think we ever will. Perfect is a state that is completely unreachable and mythological, but happiness is a state you can reach any time, anywhere, in any body you please.

You are a goddess. A warrior. A strong force of feminine power. Sure, sometimes you're a bit of a mess. And other times you don't feel strong or capable, but you are still a goddess. You are still worthy of all the love you yourself have to give. 

Life is far too short to go another day at war with yourself. It's time to fall in love with everything that we are - even our changing bodies that will wrinkle and sag with time. 

"You are imperfect. Permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful." - Amy Bloom

If you're looking for a way to nurture and nourish your body, while learning how to love it, let me know. I'm here to help. 

Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 

Why you shouldn't waste time working on your diet.

How many times have you heard someone say (or have yourself said) something along these lines? 

"I need to work on my diet"

"I need to get more strict/serious and work on losing weight"

"Eating healthy/exercising is too much work. You only live once!" 

Last week I read an article about marriage. The article was discussing how marriage is less about working on keeping something beautiful than it is about continually building something beautiful and after I applied this thought process to my own relationship I thought, how true this is for nutrition too!

So often we dive into a diet/cleanse/meal replacement plan thinking, okay, I need to do this perfectly and then I'll lose weight. Then we (inevitably) fail, gain some, all or more of the weight back and look for the next answer to our weight loss woes. Why do we do this? Repeatedly? How on earth can we expect ourselves to execute something perfectly when we don't yet have the skills to execute something consistently? 

I am here to tell you that your nutrition is not something you need to work at in an effort to maintain perfection - a perfect meal plan; a perfect body, but rather, something that you continually build in order to construct skills that allow you to create a sustainable well-balanced diet that doesn't feel like work at all. 

With marriage, after all the vows and the va-va-voom, you're left with a piece of paper and a commitment, expected to create something out of nothing. WHAT!? What about the bumps, wrong turns and detours along the way to that Instagram-perfect picture of sacrifice, fidelity and love? Relationships are not prescriptive. What works for one couple might not work for another. There's no end or arrival, but rather a constant refinement of what works and what doesn't. 

Nutrition operates on the same principle. There will be bumps, wrong turns and detours. What works for your Isagenix-loving friend won't necessarily work for you. There will never be one ultimate and true diet that works for you regardless of slip-ups, sickness, emergency and inconsistency. Your diet (at least, an effective one) will be a constant refinement of what works and what doesn't. 

So why, WHY do we keep expecting it to be something different? 

Why do we spend so much time on trying to eat perfectly and be "strict"? 

Why do we spend so much energy on trying to create something out of nothing instead of building the skills that will get us where we want to go, albeit promising a longer road to get there? 

Why aren't we grateful for the detours and the distractions when they help us to better define what works (and doesn't) for our bodies? 

And why are we so afraid to invest our time and commitment into building something that will last instead of wasting our time and commitment on so many things that just. don't. work. 

It's time to stop working and start building. 


Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 


This is for the intern

Yesterday at work, one of our summer interns said to me, "Nicole, I saw your blog and I loved it!" and instead of accepting the compliment for what it was, I rambled on about how I don't update content as often as I'd like to and felt reeeeaaaally guilty for not posting more regularly. The truth is, writing is therapeutic for me and I love that my stories might be, in the smallest way, relatable to what you're going through. But, writing is hard. It takes time and commitment, like any other habit and more vitally, it takes vulnerability. 

As many of you know, several years ago I struggled pretty aggressively with overtraining and underfeeding. As is often the case, after a few years of disordered eating my body started to break down. After my first stress fracture I was forced to change my eating and exercise habits to be more health-giving. My only coping mechanisms - running and calorie control - were, in a way, taken away from me. 

Flash forward half a decade and I've made a 180. I eat for fuel, not for fashion. I train for strength, not for skinny. And I use more helpful (and healthier) coping mechanisms to deal with my grief and the random shit life sometimes showers down on us. My life changed so much that I committed my career to helping other people - just like you and me - create healthier relationships with food and fitness. I couldn't be more confident that my past experiences make me a better coach and allow me to have more compassion for those who are struggling and I wouldn't change that for the world. 

And while I still had my struggletown moments (because let's face it, who doesn't?), I felt like I pretty much had things figured out. What on earth did I have to be blue about? 

Segue to the part of my life when I lost the one thing that was most important to me, my little brother. I experienced deep, soul-churning sadness, denial, anger, depression and all those other little characters depicted in Inside Out. The worst part of it all? He was gone and I had absolutely no healthy coping mechanisms to help me deal with the feelings that he left behind. I was certainly tempted to retreat back to my safety net of obsessive control and restriction, but that hadn't worked for me before, so why would it work for me this time? With the help of my then-boyfriend I stayed the course and continued taking care of myself (although it wasn't easy) - mentally and physically, because, even though it didn't feel like it, I was worth it.

Flash forward years of therapy and figuring out how to live with loss and learning how to take care of myself even when I just felt like feeling sorry for myself and I was doing ok. At least that's what everyone kept telling me. Saying that I was handling the situation with such grace (if only they could see how I handle it when no ones watching) and that I continued to be their inspiration for health and wellness (even when some days I didn't feel 'well' at all). Everyone kept talking about how much I had given when the only things I could feel were what had been taken away. 

I married that man of my dreams and to this day he continues to pull me out of the dark spaces and lift me up into the light. I still go to therapy (because grief is never truly gone, you just start learning the language a little better) and I'm still learning how to truly take care of myself. 

Today, today I'm twenty-eight. I've been learning to live life without a sibling and best friend for two years. I've been learning to live life without obsessive control and disordered eating for about five years. But I'm sorry to say that I haven't yet arrived. This is a lifelong journey my friends. There will be bumps and bruises, slip ups and slaps in the face. Take for example, my most recent stress fracture. 

A year ago today I injured myself at the gym. No big deal, I thought, it happens. My goal was to get better before our wedding in September. When that didn't happen I took an even more conservative approach and started going to PT. After months of corrective exercises, modified workouts and still no relief of the excruciating pain, I got an MRI that revealed I had additional stress fractures, this time, in my spine. Talk about a reality check. 

My life is now committed to health. Physical and mental. I spend each day working to build healthy habits that will allow me to live the life I want to live and be the person I want to be, all while learning to love the person I am today and where I am in that journey...only to find out that some consequences come late and suck can still happen amidst the sunshine. 

Is this injury a result of my current lifestyle? No, most likely not. Did I do permanent damage to by body by, at one time, valuing calories above my self worth? Yes, most likely. Is that a really hard consequence to accept when I worked (and continue to work) really hard at shedding that old skin? Yes, absolutely yes. 

So here I am friends. Broken, in more ways than one and still committed, each day, to learning how to love my body more and accepting myself, and my life, for who I am and what it is. Because, we're all human. And we all need permission to BE human. Say what you need to say, do what you need to do, be who you need to be. But please, please take care of yourself and those around you. Because this body is the only one you will get and your mind is a beautiful gift to be treasured. 

It's time that you were seen, appreciated and acknowledge for who you are - wherever you are at this particular moment in life. Show up authentically. Show up with your needs and desires. Show up with your wants and dislikes. Show up and be who you are, broken and unbroken. 

Because life isn't above the arrival, but the journey that takes us there. 

Unhappy Birthdays & Broken Bones

It's been awhile since I've shared anything other than Nutrition Tips of the Day <if you're not getting them, find me on Facebook!> and delicious, healthy recipes. And I wish I could say I had a great reason or even a halfway decent excuse, but the real answer is, I haven't wanted to. 

If you've read any of my writing before, you know I'm a self proclaimed perfectionist. My therapist confirms this, just so you know I'm not fabricating for dramatic flare. My self esteem and success revolves around my being able to execute and perform everything up to my own unreasonable standards as well as the standards of those around me. I'm unforgiving, both of myself and of others. I put my control in external factors and fail to appreciate internal mechanisms such as self worth and belongingness. And on a daily basis I fight with the critic inside my head that shouts some variation of, "you're not good enough!" 

I'm working on all of this, but, lately, it's been a real struggle. Because my life doesn't look like I think it should (I know, I know, does anyones?) Case and point: From about 2010-2013 I struggled with disordered eating. This was my coping mechanism for the stress going on in my life at the time, but the bottom line is, I failed to take care of myself - mentally or physically - during those years of my life. There were certain components of my life that were completely out of my control and I hated that (perfectionist, remember?), so I overcompensated by controlling my calories and my workouts to a detrimental degree. I've been in "recovery" for several years now, and just this past month I was diagnosed with ANOTHER stress fracture. My first thought was, "Seriously!? But I'm healthy now. Why is this happening to me?" The worst part is, I have absolutely no one to blame but myself. These are consequences to my actions, no matter how long ago they occurred. It's a hard lesson to learn twice, let me tell you. 

So here I am, coming up on my twenty-eighth birthday with fractured vertebrae, wanting to do just about anything but celebrate. Not because of my back. Injuries heal, whether they come with hard lessons or not. But because, for me, birthdays aren't just about celebrating another year of life anymore, they're a reminder of the life I lost, on my birthday, two years ago. The life of my little brother. I can't expect you to know or understand how hollow it feels to get Happy Birthday greetings on the day you found out your brother died from an overdose, but let me tell empty doesn't begin to describe the feeling. And please believe me when I say, I'm not asking for sympathy in lieu of celebration (please, none of that), I'm simply sharing my story - that's sometimes sad - because I have no doubt there are days when your life doesn't feel like the picture in your head too. Let's talk about it sometime.  

Birthday memories are now happy and sad, expectant and sorrowful. And you know what? That has to be okay, because this is my life. And I'm learning how to deal with this sadness and stress in healthy(ier) ways. What does that mean exactly? It means, making space for myself. Space to heal, space to grieve and space to grow. Space to focus on the things I can change and to let go of things I can't. Space to be obligation free and cry and laugh and do whatever the hell I feel like doing in that moment. Space to be me, scars, stress fractures and all. 

So tell me, how are you creating space for yourself? 

Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 



Hi Friends. 

As a result of some delicious Insta stories and food prep videos over at @nutritionwithnicole, I've been getting requests left and right for these recipes. Give them a try and let me know what your taste buds think! 

1. Thai Turkey Meatballs 

This recipe can be made PALEO and low FODMAP, if you're into that sort of thing. Me, I just think they taste delicious. Go here for the recipe

2. Slow Cooker Hawaiian Shredded Chicken 

The perfect blend of sweet and savoury. This recipe calls for canned pineapple, but I used fresh, since it's that time of year! Go here for the recipe

3. Cuban Style Black Beans with Cilantro and Lime 

We paired this smart carb with the turkey meatballs and it was de-lish, but honestly, it could be paired with pretty much any protein and veg. Go here for the recipe

4. Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken Stuffed Sweet Potato 

We love a slow cooker recipe because, easy peasy. But moreso, we love delicious food. And pairing kickin' chicken with a sweet potato is a good place to start. Go here for the recipe

5. Southwest Turkey, Vegetable and Rice Skillet 

Ever crave a one-dish meal that includes everything you need: lean protein, colourful vegetables, smart carbs and healthy fats? Here it is! We chose to omit the cheese and add black beans, but you do you. Go here for the recipe

6. Barbecue Chicken Casserole 

Here's one I haven't had the chance to try, so let me know how it is. Go here for the recipe

Eat Well. Live Well. Be Well. 

Addiction is not a disease we can enforce our way out of.

In 2016 there were 117 fatal overdoses in Lancaster County involving heroin, prescription painkillers and fentanyl, according to LNP.  This represents a 40% increase from 2015 and more than double the number of fatal overdoses from 2014.  

If you follow local news, or keep an ear to the recovery world, you might have heard that in some towns prosecutors have resorted to criminally charging drug abusers. Our own Lancaster County District Attorney, Craig Stedman even claims that “there seems to be a lot of sense to that specific approach.” 

My friends, this is not the solution. Criminal prosecution is, without a doubt, the wrong response to this public health crisis. I understand that this overdose situation is out of control and needs to be more efficiently addressed. But instead of expressing how "fed up and tired" we are about the opioid epidemic, let's commit to understanding more about - showing more compassion to - its victims. 

Addiction is a brain disease. Research demonstrates that there are chemical changes in the brain, even after ones very first exposure to opioids. Are we incarcerating people diagnosed with diabetes? High blood pressure? Of course not. We encourage help in these situations, outreach and referral to resources and community support groups. We offer advice, sympathise, maybe even empathise with these fellow men and women. But why, when it comes to the disease of addiction, do we pull away in disgust, criticise harshly with judgement and condemnation and rely only criminal prosecution in lieu of true solutions? 

Is it out of fear and a lack of understanding? Because that, I understand. I remember like it was yesterday looking my brother in the face as we sat squished in his hospital bed, after another overdose, asking him - begging him - if this could please be the last time. The last time he did this to himself. The last time he used drugs. The last time he put mom and dad through this torture. The last time...

I will never forget his answer, or the look on his face when he said, 

"I wish I could say yes, Nik" 

Would he have given up heroin to avoid 180 days in jail and a fine? I wish I could say yes. But having watched, lived with and loved a boy who wanted nothing more than to be well, to be whole, to be enough without substances, struggle year after year, day after day, fighting the disease he ultimately lost his life to the answer is very clearly, no.

Addiction is not a disease we can enforce our way out of. Education, counselling, treatment, intervention, and recovery communities...these are more worthwhile solutions to focus our efforts on. Solutions that speak to the person, not only to the "addict". 

(I know I normally talk about nutrition, exercise and lifestyle happenings, but every once in awhile you'll have to bear with me as I wear this bleeding heart on my sleeve. Some things are worth standing up for, no matter how many times you're pushed down.)