There was a time, not that long ago, when I would wake up, pee, strip down to my skivvies, step on the scale and allow the number staring back at me to control my entire day and demeanor.
If the scale read what I wanted it to, which, let's face it, happened almost never because my expectations were ridiculously unrealistic, I'd continue to compulsively weigh in multiple times a day to ensure that it was still there (or going down) and not headed in the opposite direction.
If the scale didn't read what I wanted it to, I'd punish myself with exercise and obsessive food rules that eliminated more than they allowed for and I'd repeatedly weigh in after each event. Step on the scale. Go for a run. Step on the scale. Eat a meal. Step on the scale...yeah, not a lot of self respect.
For years I viewed that number as something that dictated my self worth. I spent countless days, months and years allowing how I looked at myself in the mirror, the size on my jeans and the number on the scale to dictate who I was and what I was or was not worthy of. There are a lot of reasons for my behavior, but the bottom line is, I allowed the calories I consumed and burned and unrealistic societal standards to dictate how I regarded myself as a human being and as a woman.
This is not how I want to live my life. Do you?
Changing the way you regard yourself. Learning to accept and love yourself and your body in today's climate. Those are acts of pure defiance. And I'm here to tell you to be defiant. It takes time. It takes grace. It takes resilience. It takes the ability to fail over and over again, continuing to pick yourself back up and charge forward.
But I'm here to tell you that it's a practice you can't afford not to commit to. Despite what the world is telling you, or what your scale is trying to convince you of, it's time. It's time to breakup with the scale, rendering it powerless against you. And it's time to begin redefining your self worth.
Earlier this week, I stepped on the scale. I do this from time to time as I continue to reshape my perception of weight as a number that can be used, or not used, as needed. What I experienced was both reinforcing and discouraging. The scale reflected my lowest (healthy) weight yet, paired with my lowest (healthy) body fat percentage yet. I looked at the numbers and my thought process wants something like this...
"I wonder how much lower I could go...",
"Eh, this is just a number. It will change tomorrow and the day after that. Keep moving forward."
So, my breakup with the scale? It's an ongoing process. But it is, hands down, one of the best decisions I ever made for me. Because I am so worthy of love and acceptance. I am worthy of living my best life regardless of what the scale says.
Ready to begin your breakup with the scale? In 2018, I'm opening up a select number of 12-week coaching spots for women who are looking to break up with the scale, redefine their self worth and work towards healing their body image while reaching their health & fitness goals and feeling good about the way their body looks. If that sounds like the road you want to take this New Year, fill out this application to be put on the waitlist: https://goo.gl/forms/60m0qW0wuM7FiTgn2.
I'd gladly have you join me on this journey toward self discovery and unhindered acceptance.